I love him

It has been awhile since I last blog, in case if anyone notice :)..

I didn't have the mood and I only updated my facebook and put pics of my princess's party. I will put it up when my mind is a bit settled. At first I didn't want to share this story because I know some people who hates me (and yet they still read my blog - go figure!) will rejoice if something bad happens to our family. Some people are simply just jealous and aren't happy with their lives and resort to being jealous of other people's happiness and will be clapping their hands should anything bad befall the person that they are jealous of. Humans, what do you expect? But I guess my friends out there should deserve to know the thing that is bothering me right now.... so to those who hate me, go on, clap your hands if you like. I won't mind.....

My dear husband has been having some headache for the past month, at the same localised spot, and after the birthday party, the headache got so much worse, he couldn't go anywhere, couldn't drive, etc. I've never seen him in so much pain for two days in a row, thank goodness my mom is here, I was feeling really down. That's why I didn't update the blog, but I updated my facebook in between taking care of him and bringing him to the hospital (we were at Royal Perth Hospital for two hours). Call me a facebook addict ;p, but I actually put the pics to share it with my brothers, my in laws and all my beloved close friends who can't be around to celebrate it with us. I'll put up the pics la later ye, leceh la nak kecik2 kan gambar dulu...

The doctor asked him to do a CT scan and blood test. His results will be out tomorrow. I really, really hope and pray that there won't be anything serious. His father had leukemia before and both of his uncle passed away due to cancer. He has a strong history of cancer in his family and I sincerely hope that he is going to be fine. He hasn't been himself lately and as his wife, I feel pretty worried and sad. I cannot imagine my life without him, I really can't. He is my life, my soul, he is my everything. He is the one I truly love and I hope to love and be loved by him for the rest of our lives. Whatever the outcome for tomorrow, I have to be mentally prepared.

Don't worry sayang, I will always be by your side, through thick and thin, insyaAllah.

Please pray for him....

Oh Allah, I love him so much.....

Happy Birthday Princess

Today is my Princess's 1st birthday... and alhamdulillah my Hero is getting better.. He had diarrhea, etc for 6 days (stomach flu) and he lost some weight as I can feel his ribcage under his skin.

12 months ago, I am blessed with my darling sweetheart, Princess Ayra. It was an emergency c-section and I was told after the operation that I could have lost my life or my baby's life that fateful day, but alhamdulillah after 12 months, here we are :).. I could not sleep that night because I kept looking at her beautiful newborn face, so innocent and so pure. She was sleeping right next to me and I stare lovingly at her, marvelling at the wonderful and perfect creation of our God, Allah. I just couldn't believe that I got a little girl and at that very moment, I felt blessed and content. Thank you Allah for giving me the best gift ever I could ever wish for, the gift of becoming a mother to my two beautiful kids, Hero and Princess. Whenever I celebrate their birthdays, I will also celebrate the day I became a mother to a baby boy (Hero's case) and baby girl (Princess's case). I will always remember that warm feeling I felt in my heart as I touch her for the first time and hopefully for many, many years to come, insyaAllah. I pray that Allah will let mommy live long enough to see them grow up and become respectful muslim ....insyaAllah. I am proud to say that I fully breastfeed her, made her homemade cooked babyfood and foods, and I fully take care of her (i quit my job), without any help of maid and I guess that made her so very close to me. It feels so good to see that she loves me the most :)

At 12 months, Princess can:

• already walk (15 steps is the record, although usually it would be just 7 or less). She started walking 14 days before her birthday...(just in time)
  
• She can say Ma (at 10 months), Ta (means Papa)
  
• can clap her hands
• eat almost anything (she ate curry yesterday and the day before!)
  
• favourite breakfast: yummy, fluffy mommy's pancakes
• favourite dinner: probably pasta bake, cheesy ones and nasi minyak mommy :)
  
• favourite drink: breast milk, no sky juice please..
  
• favourite fruit: plum, grapes (probably she needs antocyanin kot)
  
• manja tak ingat....! very attached to mommy :)
• can play with big brother
• likes to be read to, read books by herself (looking at pics, obviously)
• can turn the pages of a book with that cute little chubby hands
• favourite book: 10 little fingers and 10 little toes -Mem Fox
• favourite song: Tepuk Amai-amai (malay), twinkle, twinkle little star (english)
• kuat sepah barang
• can climb down the really high bed and sofa by herself..
• she likes to dance, swaying from the front to the back, instead of sideways
• she prefers balls than teddy bears or other soft toys (terbalik dengan Hero!)
• She likes Playhouse Disney -Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Sesame street (like Hero)
• She is rather strong for a small little girl, she can push big chairs, playpen, dining table and even topple a ladder ( beware).
• She only has two little tooth in her mouth (front, bottom jaw) and she looks so cute with just two!!
  
• But most importantly, she is healthy and happy! (alhamdulillah)

Newborn Princess

Jaundice Princess

Latest pic of Princess - with rays of light shining through the window :)


We're gonna have a party for her tommorow.. more pics to come...

Happy Birthday darling Princess!!

Racist

In my opinion, I somehow think that deep down inside, almost everyone are racist...
(what a statement!)

Yeah, people would get mad, you can deny all you want, but when you see other people and identify them as a certain race, ..there you go.. you are sort of racist. Being human beings and of course imperfect, we usually would flock around 'our kind', same skin colour, race, religion, etc to get that sense of belonging/acceptance that is hard for us to get when we are with people of different race/religion/ethnic/etc.

I always tell myself that I am not racist. I was brought up in multicultural Sabah (up to 7.5 years old) and studied in a Chinese kindergarten (hence my 'fluency' in Mandarin or whatever's left of it) and as the rest of my brothers continued to finish Chinese school, I decided to enter a Convent instead, as I noticed that my elder brother had just sooo many homeworks to do and didn't want to have loads of homework too (Yes, at 7 I was already a lazy bum!). So, anyway, my first crush was a chinese dude in my class, I still remember his name.. Wan Chen Long (hehe, macam nama orang T'ganu pulak Wan Wan nih ;p) and my first guy best friend was Wu Zhe Zhing.. We would car pool to school together and play together. I had fun and the fact that when you're that age, you are just so oblivious to other people's skin colour. I can safely say that small kids aren't racist at all.

When I was brought back to KL and studied at a certain KL school with 99% malay, I think I was converted to racist. All the other malay kids were, they didn't want to be friends with an Indian guy in school, just because his skin was darker and had a weird name, and I followed suit. Being a normal kid, I want to be with the in crowd, no matter how awful they are. I just want to be accepted.

In secondary school, the racist label was once again diminished, as my beloved school, CBN, was multiracial, and it was so beautiful to see everyone speaking in one language and eating together and everything. I went to my good friend's Christmas celebration, had birthday parties at non-muslim's houses and hey, guess what? I'm still a muslim. No one converted me. Everyone respected each other's religion. I envy life back then, it was so uncomplicated. My dad's best friend, uncle Wong was chinese, and every CNY, we would go to his house and he would buy for us KFC... In Uni, I have my chinese friends, and unlike other friends who call them by their label 'budak cina' and couldn't be bothered to know their name, I knew all of my chinese friend's name. Half of my coursemate were chinese, and they of course, prefered to flock together rather than intergrate with people of other races (same like the malays in local uni). That was the awful truth..

After graduating, the place that I used to work are basically 90% chinese, and I blended well. Again, my best friend at the two places that i worked before being a lecturer are all chinese and we could get along really well with each other. There was no barrier and i do not have to eat pork or drink wine to hang out with them.

The ugliness of racism to me, begins after I quit my second job and while waiting for my enrolment for Masters, I decided to apply for jobs. In a certain newspaper, the job clearly stated 'Mandarin speaking' (some even boldly wrote Chinese only) but I don't see any Malays complaining though. I have a strong feeling that should malays write malays only on jobs, MCA would have a field day, and maybe DAP too, and demand for apology or something. But, being docile malays, no one complained. It was left unnoticed. I called/applied to places for mandarin speaking people, and usually i would get negative replies. I once called a place wanting to hire a nutritionist, and they asked me if i could speak mandarin, i said yes. And she said, I'm sorry but we only want to hire chinese only. It felt like a slap in my face. Here I am in where I thought was my 'negaraku'... and someone didn't want to hire me not because of my qualifications, but because of the colour of my skin? I've had many similar encounters with this monster called racism in my very own country, Malaysia ever since. So did my two brothers, who are both Chinese educated and have excellent command of Mandarin and Cantonese. I became aware of racism in Malaysia, probably because that particular job application situation had definitely opened my eyes on what is really happening in malaysia. People ARE racist, whether we like it or not.

Now I'm in Perth, right? And if I can get a dollar for everytime I was insulted or judged or mistreated simply because I look the way i am (a muslim -wearing hijab asian chick) I will be so rich, I tell you. And I'm not saying that Perth people are racist. I'm saying that there are people who are nice to me, and there are people who aren't. But, to be honest with you, no matter how racist people are to me here, I feel far shittier (is there a word..haha!!) if people were being racist in my home country, Malaysia. Because I realise that this place, no matter how wonderful and perfect life feels at the moment, is not where i was born or belong. Ini negara orang. So if they are racist to me, sometimes making me feel low, i shouldn't care, as it's not my country.

I notice the ones who are racists here are those who are of low qualifications (uneducated). and bear in mind, not all are though. Some can well be as nice and sweet. They could be someone who minds the counter at the clinic (i hate that bi**h at my clinic), at the cashier, or..i dunno, anywhere, I guess. I hate the woman in my clinic because she shouted at me yesterday (most days she would just be plain rude to me ONLY) and she always made me feel like crap. She can greet other people with the most sweetest voice in the world, and when i come along, she'll be all grumpy and shouts at me. WTF? Hafiz doesn't usually get this kind of treatment because he's not wearing hijab so people wouldn't know that he is a muslim. But I do. When I first arrive here, there are places (a bit further down or up than Perth) where people look strangely at you, not understanding why there is a piece of clothing on your head.. I noticed that my 'free hair'ed friends would get mat salleh friends easier, and assimilate with the locals easier than those who are wearing proper hijab. So, can you really blame the muslim for not befriending others and chose to flock among them? Yes, here, I have friends, but I have yet to find a non-muslim one. Does Malaysian/Singaporean Chinese count? No lah, they are practically our kind too, we're all one big happy asian family.. :)

I hope to be friends with a non-muslim, not just the hi and bye kinda thing, but being good friends, without me having to throw away my hijab. It's okay, probably in uni this July, I'll try and make friends. I want them to see that as shocking as this might be to them, I am not a terrorist and that muslims are actually nice people. I want to show other people that I don't need to throw my hijab, go clubbing or drink alcohol to be friends with the locals here. I dont' want to be racist.. I really don't. And I don't want my kids to be racist too. That's one of the reasons why I'm here...So, Wish me luck! And to those who are in my shoes, and have non-muslim friends (none asian yer), how do you do that?? Let me know your story... :)

I'm sorry if my post insults anyone out there, i didn't mean to do that to anyone. From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely apologise....

Take care

Where's my mood?

I don't know about you guys, but whenever I want to do something, say organise a party, or do my laundry, or ride a bike, i need to have the mood to do so... like i have to 'feel' like doing it. If I don't have the mood, I don't think I want to do it..

i guess most people are like that. but of course, there are things like doing your laundry or ironing can sometimes be done without the mood but i just simply don't like to see my laundry basket overflowing. Oh well, back to my mood story.

So anyway, Hero hasn't been well (read: diarrhea, vommiting, possible ear infection, flu/cold for more than 2 weeks, etc) and up until today, he is still having diarrhea. Thank goodness though he's fully toilet trained, although at times we wished he would do it in his diapers at night, because we have to drag our butts to the toilet since he insist on doing it in the toilet. So, anyway, little princess's birthday is this Friday, and I have planned so much! I thought of wanting to create my own personal invite card for her, buy party stuffs, conduct cute and fun activities for the kids, play musical chair, bubbles, etc. But somehow, my son is not well, and being a mother, I am worried. I brought him to the doctor, and today i'll be bringing him again. They kinda have no idea what is wrong with him. And the fact that he's not his usual self, makes me feel sad. So yeah, I don't feel like doing her birthday, but pity Princess. So I guess I should either:

a. quickly find my 'mood'..so if anyone has it, can you please give it back? I really need it urgently
b. make a simple birthday party minus all those fancy shcmancy stuff and with the absent of my mood - i reckon it wouldn't turn out great, but who knows?
c. cut a cake for princess, take pics and pretended that we had a birthday (she's too young, she wouldn't remember anyway) and when she's older, we'll just show the pics and make as though she had an awesome first birthday party...hehe (i like this one as i don't have to cook a lot of food)

So, yeah.......i'm not sure what to do. I thought of making nasi minyak and ayam masak merah for my guests (CikJu and family, Mynn and family, Salina n Muzaffar, my neighbours -2 family, Ida and family, etc) but my mom (yes, my mom's here!!!! best kan?) said that nasi minyak is for weddings and Raya, so she told me to fry noodles, etc instead. I'm telling you, I'd rather cook nasi minyak then fry noodles (as i'm not good at frying, my shoulder might dislocate, or it wouldn't taste as nice since I tak suka gaul2..hehe.alasan. usually, i would ask my personal sous chef -chef Hafiz - to help me 'gaul' the stuffs already in the wok (especially when there's just so much stuff in it)..)..

So, that's the story...... no mood Sheri trying to organise a birthday party for dear daughter who's turning 1... while her son's not feeling well. In between that, finishing PhD proposal (thank goodness the second draft's already emailed to supervisor today..so boleh relax)...

My mom came on Saturday, and at least it's good that she's here since Hero's not well and I need to do my PhD stuffs. She witnessed how Koala-like Princess is (she thought I was exxagerating).. I got loads of stuff from Malaysia.. oh i miss home.. but glad that my mom's here. I'm gonna get sooo homesick again when she goes back, I so can't deal with good byes..! Let's not think about unhappy stuff first, shall we?

So, anyway..that's my dilemma. So what should I do? Call it off? What say you? Vote now! pick either a, b or c and sms to..er..i mean, and comment at the box below. Thank you :) If you have any suggestion, feel free to say so.

Take care

I'm moving on

Today I decided that it's about time I moved on... I felt like it's no use for me to wait and hope for a reconciliation of some sort, or maybe there might be a continuation of this story. Nope, life must go on, so I decided to pick up the pieces, and go on with my life, without.......

.........................

........................

Becky Brandon....(nee Bloomwood)

The last time I was like this, I was still shattered by the fact that my favourite series, twilight has ended. Can't Stephanie Meyer write some more, telling stories about Renesmee or something, how she's all grown up, and her love life or something? I am so obsessed over Twilight (the best book ever!) and it pains me that I have to part ways with my dear, dear friends Greek God Edward (love u dear ;p - ni kalau hafiz baca ni mati..hahah!), Bella, Jacob, Alice (I like to think my girl kinda looks like Alice with her spiky hair), Emmet, Rosalie, Carlisle, ugh..the list is endless.....so many beautiful characters.. I'm so looking forward to the movie 'New moon' coming out this Dec (eh, I kat Malaysia la, boleh la tgk movie, yipeeeee!!!!).........Guess I haven't moved on, have I?

So anyway, after reading Twilight, I read Sophie's Remember me (which I thought was okay and rather interesting -although there were some earlier comments which said that it was boring though), all the other books, before I continued my Becky Bloomwood story.. I totally can relate to her when she was planning her wedding, the first time and most of the time she met Elinor (I felt that way too!) and her honeymoon is sooooo perfect! Shopaholic and baby also is great since it's about supposedly extra-marital affairs.. and when I was pregnant with my boy, I do feel threatened by other so-called 'old friends' of Hafiz who I think are not as hot as Venetia..hehe (i like to think that I am hotter than them gals..;p). But it's all in the past, right? And why would we dwell on the past? So anyway, where was I, right, I love the series so much that after finish reading the last sentence, I just can't get around to read another novel. I dunno. I just can't move on........

So, today I finally did. I'm currently reading P.S. I Love you by Cecilia Ahern (i tak sure la ejaan dia, malas nak gi cek betul ke tak). Oh, and I just watched the movie 'The Notebook' (baru nak tengok).. And so now I am in high jiwang mode...It's nice to watch it with my soulmate and glad that he enjoyed it too! (I know he did...I have my reasons) ;p. I'm trying my best to move on from Becky...But I'm telling you, I think Sophie is a genious. She has such wild imagination. I usually can predict how a story goes/ends (kelas penulisan skrip masa first year uni dulu), but she is highly unpredictable..hence the reason why I love her books. ALL of it. I think all is good, although the undomestic goddess is rather slow but it gets better towards the end. She is the Queen of Chick lit and i hope she continues to write as long as she lives..hehe..

And unlike Bella (I don't really like her except until Breaking Dawn), I LOVE Becky to death.. so I hope (wishful thinking though) that Sophie would continue stories of the shopaholic. Maybe let Baby Brandon team up with mommy to become the next shopaholic or something.. I will definitely buy whatever novel she writes, because she is just sooooo good!

Hmm.. I'm supposed to be moving on here. So, enough about Becky. and say Hello to Holly! And do recommend me books to read (chick-lit or romantic..i don't want those heavy stuffs! I'd rather read my journals than that, thank you very much)....

Okla, I can't sleep so I plan on reading Holly's story. I made NesLo (tak sangka sedap) and since there's coffee inside, I am wide awake..! But it was worth it.. hehe. Bet all of you are in slumberland right now.

Catch up with you guys later... Take care

11th award

Thanks Ida - Perth for the award :).. Ida is my new neighbour ;p. She will be moving to my suburb soon.. But if I were to walk from my place to her house, it would take me 25 min (based on google maps) but if i were to drive, it would take me 4 minutes :)...Congrats for getting that beautiful house. Dah rezeki, kan? Happy for her :)

Let me see... 7 (fave number) people i want to give this award to:

Dyanna
Dora
Masz
Suria
Bondaqeem
Faizal
Nisa

Take care!

10th award

Thank you Ummul Aqeem for the very cute, 'cute award' and I'm honoured to have it..

5 perkara yang lawak+poyo+sengal+mengong and tak bleh nak blah and sewaktu dengannya yang pernah berlaku dalm hidup anda:

Oh dear..Am I too old already? I still am 27 (selagi tak july, i still am..ok? Can I stop my age until here? I like the number 27)... I don't seem to understand most of the words lah.. slang ape nih? I only understand lawak, poyo..tu je. Dah lama sangat ke tinggalkan Malaysia?? Pelik betul

So anyways..here are the lawaks or poyos stories je since i don't know the rest of the words:

1. I once wore this cute little kebaya to MRSM Taiping for Raya celebration. And I thought I look pretty (perasan la) and I was so 'control' especially when I passed at the DS (Dewan Selera) of the boys side, and I was so conscious as I can feel that (poyo lagi) they were staring at me..(ye,ye perasan..wat to do..i was 16-17).. So anyway, since I was so 'control ayu', something stupid happened. I stepped on a banana peel (kulit pisang) which some uncivic minded Taiping bloke had thrown outside the DS area, and miss perasan cute terkangkang (I made a split which I thought was impossible to make). Get this, my right leg was at the front while my back leg was at my back..ala..split..ala2 gymnast ;p. Thank goodness I was walking with my 'sharkians' buddies and they picked me up and walked as fast as we could until we passed the DS. I was lucky that no one laughed at me... but later all my friends laughed at me. It was so emberassing. Malu gileeeee... merah muka.. BUT... after that.. (sila jangan muntah darah), there were guys who came to me and asked me (with deep concern in their eyes ;p).. I saw you falling just now, 'jatuh teruk, ok?'..are you okay??........hehehe.. Tapi memang malu. tu je la nak cakap..NEXT!

2.I went on my second date with Hafiz and back then, I was sooo darn clumsy. Miss Gelabah kot. So, after having such a great time, I was like, oklay, this is my house, I'll see you soon, bla, blah.. I opened the door without looking on the left. (I was so gelabah, jantung dup dap laju nih..macam nak terkeluar dari badan..hehe..cuak, i dunno why. was trying hard to impress kot).So, as I hurriedly opened the door I banged the front seat passenger door at someone who was walking pass the car with a few other guys..'Adoi!!'.. Alamak, sorry..sorry... I was sooooooooo malu babe. Baru lepas dating nih...!! And being the gentleman that he WAS, he didn't laugh back then. But after marrying me, he can't stop talking about it, how he tried so hard not to laugh at me.... Sabar je la. But one of the main reason that he fell for me is because he thought I was funny...sabar je la...!

3. I don't seem to remember any lawak stories, so here's a poyo story from me (sediakan baldi/bucket/pail/whatever u call it for vommiting)... When I was in Matrics or maybe in Uni, (looong time ago) I had people mistaken me/comparing me to a certain celebrity (now wearing tudung/hijab), she was rather famous back then, a show called 'Spanar Jaya' made her famous. When I was in Uni, some nasty guys said that I was ******* tapi grade B. (because I wasn't as pretty). I didn't like it at all to be compared to her as I think I look different than her. She's obviously a whole lot prettier since she is a celebrity with mixed - parentage of caucasian and all. So, yeah.. at that time, I felt unhappy that people compared me to her but now I'm flattered..hehe.. but after marriage, I don't think I look anything like her anymore, especially since both had grown side ways...hahaha..Yeah.so that's my poyo story..hehe (boleh muntah beramai- ramai sekarang)

4. There was once, this super cute boy (not my type) back in matrics..almost everyone in school (agaknya la) liked him/had a crush on him.. i wasn't la of course since at that time i have a bf already. I remembered one dinner night (somewhat like prom tapi versi islamic ala2 MRSM..), he was sitting on another table and kep looking at me. wait..wait, not looking, but staring. The whole time. Even my friends noticed it. And we assumed that he was into me.. hahaha.. So perasan la di situ. I told my then-bf but he didn't say a thing. he just kept quiet. I thought he would get jealous but he didn't. So after entering first year uni, then I knew the truth (to cut a long story short). He wasn't actually into me. But, he was JEALOUS of me. Wanna know why? He had a crush on my then-bf!!!! I can safely say that he was gay... freaky story huh???

5. I have this one kebaya (kebaya lagi..! Nak buat macamane, I was curvacious dulu;p) that I adore so much and it has this butang ketap, not cangkuk. I remembered this one raya, i was sitting down with my cuz and someone stepped or sat on my kebaya unknowingly, and as I stood up, butang ketap all on both sides were separated and it could have been full frontal nudity have I not wore my undergarment (bra). So anyway, it was deeply embaressing but thank goodness there weren't any guys around.. my cuz covered for me while I quickly buttoned up, this time I asked for a pin, so that the butang ketap won't unbuttoned 'sesuka hati'...;p.. Kalau tak, 'Selamat Hari Raya Free Show' la kat sume orang yang datang...hehe

So, yeah, banyak lagi bende lawak, antara tak recall..or terlalu malu nak cerita. Here's the cutie pies who are tagged/award:

1. Sufee
2. Faizal Kaykay
3. Alia
4. Nisa
5. Mon

9th award

If I'm not mistaken I think it's the 9th award ;p (i cheated, i counted Ida London's award as 4 since there are 4 different kinds of award altogether.)

But anyway..thank you to my dearest cute friend Alia for giving me this award :)

I love your blog too...!!! It's as cute as you

1. The winner can put the logo on his/her awesome blog

2. Link the person you received your award from:

http://aliadijamina.blogspot.com/

3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs (refer to below)

4. Put links of those blogs on yours (already done that, refer to the left column)

And the gorgeous winners are: (in random order of gorgeousness)

Reena
Ummul Aqeem
Ros n Izzah
Ulfa
Siti - Perth
Dr Soraya
Cik Puling Ieda

Who I was back in Malaysia

Back in Malaysia, I was labeled. I was labeled as 'anak mak', 'anak manja' and 'tak reti jaga anak'. I was regarded as someone who relies heavily on her mother, eventhough after marriage. I have friends/colleagues back then saying that I need to be independent, mustn't let my mom take care of my son, bla bla bla. And most of my relatives don't really think highly of me in terms of domestic stuff, especially when it comes to taking care of my son, doing houseworks, cooking, etc.

Everyone thought that all this while, my mom 100% took care of my son. But I beg to defer. Yes, it is true that my mom took great, if not, exceptional care of my son, her grandson, even better than taking care of myself, but after work, I gladly took that responsibility. I put my son to sleep every single day and please know that that is not an easy task. I made sure I spend my weekends with him and bring him to places that he likes... Yes, I can do whatever I want, I can try to prove to others that I'm trying my best to be a good mom, taking care of my child and all, but you can never shut a person's mouth............... The label still exist. I was, to them, unable to take care of my own child. And poor mom was always the subject of hurtful condemnation from my father's mean relatives who thinks that my mom abandons her responsibilities of taking care of her husband to take care of my son. What they don't know is that it was my father's choice not to live in PJ but prefer to live in our house in Ampang instead. Like I said, there's no point shutting people's mouth...it's absolutely impossible to do so..!

And so, when words spread that I will be moving to Perth, everyone I know would ask ' Is your mom coming?' and after hearing the reply, 'So, who will take care of your son? And of course your baby girl?' Are they blind or something? Of course it's their mom!! And so I would quietly say..'er..me?' and people were sceptic. 'Can she really take care of her kids? All this while her mother has been taking care of her son...'. But no one has any idea that I, unlike most people who sends their kids to their mom or have maids, make it a point to really take care (hands on) of my kids. But, whatever lah. People can say anything, right? But it's okay. I would lie if I say that I don't mind when frankly I do, but I guess I'm used to people's negative thinking of me. The two person who has full confidence that I can do so (taking care of my kids) was none other than my hubby and my mom. Even I wasn't confident.. (people's negative vibes, it kinda gets to me). 'Jaga anak elok2' was always something that people would say to me before I go. As if I don't want to take care of my kids as best as i can.

So, now, it's almost 6 months now, here in Perth, and 6 months of living alone, being fully-independent and taking responsibilities and care for the kids and doing household chores. I tell you, working anywhere else in the world is a whole lot easier than taking care of two littlies roaming around the house while doing the chores. It is very tiring and somehow I really enjoy spending time with them and leaving my career behind. But what I want to say is, after 6 months living here, I somehow felt that I have gain some respect (not that that's the reason why i came here) from friends and relatives who think that I could never survived. Who would have thought this 'anak mak', anak manja, etc can be fully-independent? But, actually, it's not impossible. At least now I'm somewhat elated that I can shed off my old 'image' or label of being dependent over mom eversince i'm here. But to those of you who used to be in my shoes, who has mom who can take care of your kids while you are working, just go on, don't bother what other people say about you. They are just jealous because:
a. They don't have a mom who can take care of their child hence they get a maid, nursery, child care
b. Their moms couldn't be bothered or aren't capable enough to handle kids
c. They are just plain jealous (it's human nature)
Just deafen your ears. People can utter whatever stupid nonsense they like, but by the end of the day, what matters most if the happiness of the child. They are obviously better be taken care of by their grandmas rather than by some random people from Indon or some child care..right?

And I know every mother CAN take care of their own kids, so don't be afraid.. you are, after all, their mother right? And to those of you who used to think that I'm an invalid when it comes to child-rearing...i'm glad to prove you wrong, well, not that i'm being cocky or boastful, but I believe that I didn't deserve the harsh label that has been stamped on my forehead and had to bear with it for years.

So, yeah, I guess, whatever i choose later on in life, like if i were to come back to malaysia or stay here for good or something, at least that nasty label people had of me is no longer applicable. So cheers to that :)

p/s- I do not blame my mother for being a super mom. It's not her fault she's so capable, she made me look incapable :). I hope to emulate her extraordinary capabilities one day.. if not 100%, well, I would be happy with just even a mere 10%...

Take care

Koala Kecik

Salam,

First of all, pardon for not updating the blog for quite awhile. My 'Koala Kecik' is always with me, making it hard for me to do anything!! She's very clingy and 'manja'... Why do I say manja?

a. Makan nak bersuap - but MUST use your hand, and not the spoon (hence the reason why she likes bread and rice so much)

b. Tidur nak peluk2 - it's like she has a built-in censor to detect if mommy is more than 5m away from her, her eyes will automatically open...I used to be so good at this, putting Hero to sleep in the cot and everything but when it comes to her, I fail...sob..sob. It's so hard to put her to sleep in the cot. She prefers to sleep literally 'bawah ketiak mak'

c. Nowadays, when I cook, I will somehow have someone hugging my legs (somewhere around the knee area). This is what happens when the Koala Kecik is mobile. She's always, always at the kitchen (probably because that's where mommy happens to be)..........;p. But of course, it's very dangerous so when the need arises (serious cooking/frying/baking), I will put her in the huge 'white elephant' of a playpen, and she will voice out her disagreement by crying her lungs out (sometimes nosy/caring tak tentu pasal neighbours comes to check whether she has been violently abused by the asian/muslim 'terrorist' mother, while in fact, I only put her in the playpen so that I can do basic stuff like cooking..:).. Dahsyat kan?

d. She just likes to be carried. I reckon I am similar to those Indon maids who like to carry their employer's baby around..and i use to disapprove of such things. But look at me now! Do I blame Princess or myself for letting her bully me around? ;p

e. Whenever she plays with Abang Hero, and he takes her stuff, or when she wants to eat the bits and pieces of papers that she has conveniently shredded to her liking, and I just take it away from her, she will cry. Macam 'gembeng'..hehe. I wonder who she follows (hint: her mommy is 'ratu air mata').

Well, so anyway... since her birthday is coming up.. I'm pretty excited because this is the first time I will be organizing my kid's first birthday (Hero's birthday was fully organised by my mom-in law, I was merely a guest).. so I am enjoying every tiny bit of it. Tommorow we will scout around for a good picnic spot.. and oh..I haven't thought about the menu yet, although Hafiz suggested that we do BBQ. So, that's settle then. I'll just have to think of some other main dishes too..you know.. So, any ideas of food that are picnic-friendly? Mynn will be making her birthday cake... so that settles too! And what else? Oh, I already have the guests list. Not too long and not too short :)... I can't believe that my darling princess, no matter how small she looks, compared to Hero when he was her age, is turning ONE!!!!!!

Right now she's already wide awake, and is hanging on my left shoulder, sometimes even attempting to press the keyboard, and doing all sorts of other cute stuffs. Hehe..So, I guess I have to go. She talk lots of baby-talk now.. so very cute and her voice is very feminine..very girlish.. lain benar la dengan Abang Hero...(which is actually pretty good)..So, I guess I'll better stop now.. Talk to you guys later yeah?

Take care

Addicted

So here's the thing..I think I'm an addict. (pause and take a deep breath, exhale)..

I'm addicted to RB..oops, i mean, Root Beer.


The A&W one la.. I bought from the Oriental shop here (bought a few times already). The thing is I drink it like every meal, and 2 bottles could last for like...two days..................................

So..how do I do this? I mean there's only one cup of RB left..(we call it RB so that Hero won't understand what we mean. Obviously I don't intend to share since:
a. It's not good for him. He only drinks plain water (i'm a hypocrite, i know)
b. If I share, there won't be enough for me..wink, wink..

So, now, I'm scared. These past few days, Hero hasn't been, how shall I put this, 'exemplary'? Not in his best behaviour? Arrgh..bowls smashed, foods thrown without any given reason, etc. It's not fair for me to judge him. I can safely say, he is 90% good (like all Geminis in the world) and 10% 'naughty'. But, that 10% is soooooooo awful, that I forget the good 90%. Oh, and did I mention that he is still in the 'terrible two' age? So, anyway, back to my story...

I love my RB. So when we went to Oriental for the usual stockings, I found IT! And we bought it. And since Hero hasn't been quite easy to deal with, plus Princess is very, very mobile..everytime I'm feeling stressed out, I drink the RB, and somehow I felt better. Is it the caffeine? (I'm no longer allowed to drink even teh tarik since the last time I drank Aik Cheong I couldn't sleep the whole night. And the next day I didn't sleep for a few days because my kids were having high fever. So, yes, I drank RB when I feel like it, to soothe me. Now, I just want RB. Am I addicted? I have this weird concept in my brain that RB makes me feel better..

So, now, I can safely say I'm addicted. I'm scared. I have my last cup of RB waiting for me in the fridge and I can't drink it. I somehow feel that I want to keep it, like simpan stock la, in case if I really am stressed out and need it. I can always buy it, but how can this madness ends if I keep on buying it. I'm not a soft drink drinker. I'm suppose to be a health freak (self-confessed..85% of the time lah). And I've been doing so well...you know? Losing weight... fitting nicely into my pre-marriage jeans..:) I love that feeling. And now I'll be spoiling it with my obsession over RB?

Oh, what the heck. Princess is crying. I want to drink my RB. Let's just drink and we'll see how it goes. Let me have my last cup of RB, and if I'm addicted to it, well, I'll just have to fight it off. Will I win? We'll see...

Faulkner Park

Last weekend, we went to this park near Belmont Forum. The playground there is soo beautiful and toddler-friendly. Like, if Hero runs madly around the field, we can just sit down without having to be nervous or on our toes, wondering if he would run out of the area and to the streets. This is because they have this fences...and that is soo cool! Hehe.. I won't write much. I'll just put some pics..and this was the first time Princess on a swing. Unlike Hero, she doesn't look scared at all. Saje je muka dia.. She's a daredevil..that's what she is. She gets that from her dad. I'm such a coward. I'm scared of loads of things, hence Hero follows me. But I guess he's already okay with swings, but don't push too high, he might cry.. hehe... scared of heights. like mommy too! Macamane nii, anak jantan kena tough! And while walking we saw a flower that reminds us of HOME..uwaaa..homesick..! Enjoy the pics :)

Muka yang saje...

Geram tengok muka dia selamba

My 'penakut' son.. as soon as Papa pushes the swing, he cried, wanting to go down..Iskk..

Aperla Abang Hero nih..

Susah betul nak buat Princess senyum.. Eh, jari siapa yang panjang2 tuh? ;p

The toddler play area.. Looks safe enough in my book!

They have child-friendly fences around the area..:)

Wah..a volcano? Don't worry, it's inactive ;p

Looking a lot like Papa in this pic (Just this pic, ok sayang?)

Here's the flower..it's our national flower...Hibiscus.. Bunga Raya, bunga kebangsaan :)

Amacam Mynn? Ok tak kalau nak buat Birthday picnic kat sini? ;p

Take care