Back in Malaysia, I was labeled. I was labeled as 'anak mak', 'anak manja' and 'tak reti jaga anak'. I was regarded as someone who relies heavily on her mother, eventhough after marriage. I have friends/colleagues back then saying that I need to be independent, mustn't let my mom take care of my son, bla bla bla. And most of my relatives don't really think highly of me in terms of domestic stuff, especially when it comes to taking care of my son, doing houseworks, cooking, etc.
Everyone thought that all this while, my mom 100% took care of my son. But I beg to defer. Yes, it is true that my mom took great, if not, exceptional care of my son, her grandson, even better than taking care of myself, but after work, I gladly took that responsibility. I put my son to sleep every single day and please know that that is not an easy task. I made sure I spend my weekends with him and bring him to places that he likes... Yes, I can do whatever I want, I can try to prove to others that I'm trying my best to be a good mom, taking care of my child and all, but you can never shut a person's mouth............... The label still exist. I was, to them, unable to take care of my own child. And poor mom was always the subject of hurtful condemnation from my father's mean relatives who thinks that my mom abandons her responsibilities of taking care of her husband to take care of my son. What they don't know is that it was my father's choice not to live in PJ but prefer to live in our house in Ampang instead. Like I said, there's no point shutting people's mouth...it's absolutely impossible to do so..!
And so, when words spread that I will be moving to Perth, everyone I know would ask ' Is your mom coming?' and after hearing the reply, 'So, who will take care of your son? And of course your baby girl?' Are they blind or something? Of course it's their mom!! And so I would quietly say..'er..me?' and people were sceptic. 'Can she really take care of her kids? All this while her mother has been taking care of her son...'. But no one has any idea that I, unlike most people who sends their kids to their mom or have maids, make it a point to really take care (hands on) of my kids. But, whatever lah. People can say anything, right? But it's okay. I would lie if I say that I don't mind when frankly I do, but I guess I'm used to people's negative thinking of me. The two person who has full confidence that I can do so (taking care of my kids) was none other than my hubby and my mom. Even I wasn't confident.. (people's negative vibes, it kinda gets to me). 'Jaga anak elok2' was always something that people would say to me before I go. As if I don't want to take care of my kids as best as i can.
So, now, it's almost 6 months now, here in Perth, and 6 months of living alone, being fully-independent and taking responsibilities and care for the kids and doing household chores. I tell you, working anywhere else in the world is a whole lot easier than taking care of two littlies roaming around the house while doing the chores. It is very tiring and somehow I really enjoy spending time with them and leaving my career behind. But what I want to say is, after 6 months living here, I somehow felt that I have gain some respect (not that that's the reason why i came here) from friends and relatives who think that I could never survived. Who would have thought this 'anak mak', anak manja, etc can be fully-independent? But, actually, it's not impossible. At least now I'm somewhat elated that I can shed off my old 'image' or label of being dependent over mom eversince i'm here. But to those of you who used to be in my shoes, who has mom who can take care of your kids while you are working, just go on, don't bother what other people say about you. They are just jealous because:
a. They don't have a mom who can take care of their child hence they get a maid, nursery, child care
b. Their moms couldn't be bothered or aren't capable enough to handle kids
c. They are just plain jealous (it's human nature)
Just deafen your ears. People can utter whatever stupid nonsense they like, but by the end of the day, what matters most if the happiness of the child. They are obviously better be taken care of by their grandmas rather than by some random people from Indon or some child care..right?
And I know every mother CAN take care of their own kids, so don't be afraid.. you are, after all, their mother right? And to those of you who used to think that I'm an invalid when it comes to child-rearing...i'm glad to prove you wrong, well, not that i'm being cocky or boastful, but I believe that I didn't deserve the harsh label that has been stamped on my forehead and had to bear with it for years.
So, yeah, I guess, whatever i choose later on in life, like if i were to come back to malaysia or stay here for good or something, at least that nasty label people had of me is no longer applicable. So cheers to that :)
p/s- I do not blame my mother for being a super mom. It's not her fault she's so capable, she made me look incapable :). I hope to emulate her extraordinary capabilities one day.. if not 100%, well, I would be happy with just even a mere 10%...
Take care
Everyone thought that all this while, my mom 100% took care of my son. But I beg to defer. Yes, it is true that my mom took great, if not, exceptional care of my son, her grandson, even better than taking care of myself, but after work, I gladly took that responsibility. I put my son to sleep every single day and please know that that is not an easy task. I made sure I spend my weekends with him and bring him to places that he likes... Yes, I can do whatever I want, I can try to prove to others that I'm trying my best to be a good mom, taking care of my child and all, but you can never shut a person's mouth............... The label still exist. I was, to them, unable to take care of my own child. And poor mom was always the subject of hurtful condemnation from my father's mean relatives who thinks that my mom abandons her responsibilities of taking care of her husband to take care of my son. What they don't know is that it was my father's choice not to live in PJ but prefer to live in our house in Ampang instead. Like I said, there's no point shutting people's mouth...it's absolutely impossible to do so..!
And so, when words spread that I will be moving to Perth, everyone I know would ask ' Is your mom coming?' and after hearing the reply, 'So, who will take care of your son? And of course your baby girl?' Are they blind or something? Of course it's their mom!! And so I would quietly say..'er..me?' and people were sceptic. 'Can she really take care of her kids? All this while her mother has been taking care of her son...'. But no one has any idea that I, unlike most people who sends their kids to their mom or have maids, make it a point to really take care (hands on) of my kids. But, whatever lah. People can say anything, right? But it's okay. I would lie if I say that I don't mind when frankly I do, but I guess I'm used to people's negative thinking of me. The two person who has full confidence that I can do so (taking care of my kids) was none other than my hubby and my mom. Even I wasn't confident.. (people's negative vibes, it kinda gets to me). 'Jaga anak elok2' was always something that people would say to me before I go. As if I don't want to take care of my kids as best as i can.
So, now, it's almost 6 months now, here in Perth, and 6 months of living alone, being fully-independent and taking responsibilities and care for the kids and doing household chores. I tell you, working anywhere else in the world is a whole lot easier than taking care of two littlies roaming around the house while doing the chores. It is very tiring and somehow I really enjoy spending time with them and leaving my career behind. But what I want to say is, after 6 months living here, I somehow felt that I have gain some respect (not that that's the reason why i came here) from friends and relatives who think that I could never survived. Who would have thought this 'anak mak', anak manja, etc can be fully-independent? But, actually, it's not impossible. At least now I'm somewhat elated that I can shed off my old 'image' or label of being dependent over mom eversince i'm here. But to those of you who used to be in my shoes, who has mom who can take care of your kids while you are working, just go on, don't bother what other people say about you. They are just jealous because:
a. They don't have a mom who can take care of their child hence they get a maid, nursery, child care
b. Their moms couldn't be bothered or aren't capable enough to handle kids
c. They are just plain jealous (it's human nature)
Just deafen your ears. People can utter whatever stupid nonsense they like, but by the end of the day, what matters most if the happiness of the child. They are obviously better be taken care of by their grandmas rather than by some random people from Indon or some child care..right?
And I know every mother CAN take care of their own kids, so don't be afraid.. you are, after all, their mother right? And to those of you who used to think that I'm an invalid when it comes to child-rearing...i'm glad to prove you wrong, well, not that i'm being cocky or boastful, but I believe that I didn't deserve the harsh label that has been stamped on my forehead and had to bear with it for years.
So, yeah, I guess, whatever i choose later on in life, like if i were to come back to malaysia or stay here for good or something, at least that nasty label people had of me is no longer applicable. So cheers to that :)
p/s- I do not blame my mother for being a super mom. It's not her fault she's so capable, she made me look incapable :). I hope to emulate her extraordinary capabilities one day.. if not 100%, well, I would be happy with just even a mere 10%...
Take care
12 comments:
hi sheri,u know wat,this people who always talk about others think they are perfect...we give our child to give our parents to take care coz we do have some other commitment also...we work to support the family...n for who we work,for our child also..n how come they can say we dont care for ourr child...i have become a mother 4month ago...n i feel no one in the world can take care a child better than mother..yes we do give our child to our mum to take care but end of the day we are doing everything for them indirectly...so dont be sad...u all ready proven that u are a good mother,u leave ur carier behind for ur child...its all d shows only a mum can do that...be happy n ignore the world dirty people..
yes reena, it's soo true. u r soo right. only mothers can take care..lil kelvin is so gorgeous, he's gonna grow up to be heart-breaker ;p..!
Yeahhhh Sheri.."ignore them all"..they are JEALOUS...biarkan mereka diselubungi KEJELESAN..but i know you are the bestest mom everrr...n these goes to all mother in the world..: syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu ( bukan bawah tapak kaki org yg jeles..;))..u dah prove to them all that u can live independantly all this while at Perth so y one earth they can't even think..or maybe they think using the brain at their kneesssss.....( ishhh gile marah i nii...hehehe..)
Sheri,
Love knows no boundaries. It doesnt matter if it's your own children or not, you'll do anything for them (contoh terbaik -> your mum, I know she's more than happy to spend a lot of quality time with her grandchildrens, and I bet she didn't complained a bit).(contoh glamor -> Madonna, who goes all out to adopt that Malawi boy, although he's not her son and not an American, skin colour pun different. She don't care what other people say. Just go and adopt anyways).
For most of us, I know we emulate and sometimes idolised our mothers. They're our source of motivation. It's very hard to find any fault and shortcomings in them. Doesn't it always make you wonder how mums are like super heroes? (without the tight lycra bodysuit.LOL!)
Great to know that you've successfully proved them wrong.
Mulut tempayan boleh ditutup, mulut manusia lagi dasyhat besarnya dari tempayan. Suka hati je nak judge orang pandai ke tak.
I have one request. It's up to you if you nak ikut ke tak nak. No harm in asking, right?
Boleh tak buat comment section ni 'pop out' rather than change to another page. Like that, boleh la tgk comment at the same time glance at your post with the lovely pictures of your kids and nice pink background :D
my siblings, cousins n i were all brought up by my super grandma. we all call her mak n have a special bond with her.then again,we didn't have many sibuk relatives around hehe nothing wrong with grandma jaga cucu.lg best ada la.too bad my son dok ngan maid je..dua2 nenek keje 8-5 hehe
Hi nisa, thank you atas sokongan yang tidak berbelah bahagi :)
tuela..people can say anything they like, but i guess i'm passed all that now
che yah, waaahh.. to rpove a point siap letak contoh glamour.. bagus skali!! thanks for the support. rasa berkobar2 baca komen2 korang nih..
che yah, pasal request tuh, boleh ajar tak mcmne nak tukar? sebab tak reti lerrrr..(buta IT sket)
soraya,
Wow, I didn't know that.. and look at u, u turned out soo well, but yeah, u tak tau, maybe ur mom have had people saying bad things kot, and she choses to ignore je. Suka-suka hati je buat assumption ;p.. But really, if i had a choice, i would still send my kids to my mom than child care/maid/nursery because having our moms take care of our kids is way better, regardless of what people say..but i don't have any other choice do i?
Salam. I lompat dari rumah LG. Tried to finish reading ALL your coretans, dapat katam 1/4. Nanti sambung balik. I like the post re: u threw the bekal that ur mum prepared for u. Sob3. I did the same thing.. (bergenang airmata nih).
I'll guide you through and through:
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somuffins,
wa..bagusnya nak khatamkan my blog..hehe, banyak tuh (esp bende2 merepek..kehkehkeh..)salam perkenalana :).. sama2 kita harap nanti kita tak menerima nasib yg sama (peristiwa yg berulang) in the future dgn our kids/future kids :)
salam sheri..alaaa...ciannyer bace luahan ati u ni hehe...mulut org mmg mcm tuh...takleh nak tutup....takkan la u tanak jaga baik2 plak anak sendiri kan? teroknyer org yg boleh buat that kinda assumption...wot kind of mother do they think u are??? chewwwaaahhh i plak yg emo haha ;p the best we can do is to ignore them...and kat mana2 pun mmg akan ada org mcm tu...sabar je la kan? kalau nak layan org yg mulut mcm tuh mmg sakit ati...tak jadi keje kita...dok mkn ati jer kang..;)
Salam Lynna..hehe.. luahan hati je.. biasala manusia ni kan? but i guess it worked for the best.. thanks for dropping by :)
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